Catching up..

Sometimes, life just seem to pass by so quickly. That's what I've been feeling recently. I can't seem to find the time, nor the words, to update this blog of mine. Even now I'm still grappling with the proper words and organizing thoughts. I would've put it off for a later day, but if I don't ever start, what can I hope to finish?

On with the recent events. I now understand how people come to detest accounting. It's so very technical. Plus I'm stuck with a 3-hour class every Saturday. I wouldn't have mind an MFW class, I'd even welcome it. It just seems that my mind can only focus so much on the first hour of class, leaving it to wander about for the remaining two hours. I just got back the results of the first LT on it too. Let's just say I got what I studied for, so I'm not too sad about it. Have to exert more effort though on the subsequent tests.

In other news (hehe), I have a feeling that I'm going to be very, very busy. Schoolwork is heavy enough, but to have 5 orgs as well?? So that's where all my time have been going.. sheesh.

Moving on.. there are a few things that're irritating me right now. I won't bother with the details though, it's not that big of a deal. There's also a lot of stress and pressure on performing my best in the things I do. That's one source of irritation I can blabber about - my laziness. Have to work on that bit.

But things aren't all bad. Good things do come too, though I'm still waiting for when it arrives, hehe. Seriously though, if nothing good ever happened, I doubt I'd still be able to live through the daily grind. I'm not really picky. As long as it makes me smile, or think a bit about something pleasant, or gives me a sense of.. I can't explain this.. fuzziness inside.. I'm glad for all those little things. They do make things a lot easier.

Currently, nothing much. Still looking for a focus. A few new secrets here and there that I don't plan on telling anyone anytime soon. (My secrets, mind you. I don't ever divulge the secrets of others;p) Pleasant secrets, and a few not-so-happy ones.

That's it for now. I'll leave with a few thoughts:
What happens now is a result of the actions and events of the past. If somehow the past could be changed, would you even dare change it knowing that what you have now may cease to exist just so you can change a few things that screwed up? To rephrase the question, is the possibility of a certain outcome worth more than the certainty of a given present?

Derailed

It's not fun getting used. I really don't mind though, just not too often. I guess it's inherent in people to do such things, though some have more control of what they do than others.

There are a few things I've discovered while living this life of mine. One is that it's quite easy to get disappointed. Disappointment is always there; everytime we hope, everytime we try, everytime we act. You can't help not getting disappointed, especially when there's so much on the line. I've had a few of my worlds shattered already, and it isn't funny when something suddenly pulls the ground from beneath you.

In philo class we ask the meaning of existence. Why do we exist? Why do we do the things we do? Why? And it bothers me so much that I can't even give an answer that somehow even partially justifies my actions. I'm stumped. Whenever I think I know the answer, it turns out to be incorrect. A lot of those answers seem right, and yet they don't have substance. I'll continue searching though.. there are just so many unformed questions in my mind that need answering, so many events that need explaining, so many things that need understanding..

How much value do you put on the things you have?

I often forget this very important question. It's not really all about material things, but of everything I consider valuable. Value is something we all give differently, and that would mean each one values things differently.

I often forget the value I put on things - how much they're worth to me. And it's sad when fate reminds you of it by taking it away, or messing it up. That is very unfortunate, but it happens very often. I value too many things, but because they're too many, I sometimes forget that they have value. That's the problem, the more you have, the easier it is to neglect individual things that don't interest you for the moment.. it's harder to hold the more things you have.

For whatever I've done, I'm sorry. Losing things is not a good way to realize their importance. By then it might be too late to get them back.