A tragedy...

It's very sad when you hear about a person dying. The recent Tsunami claimed many lives, and it is very sad; but they were people far away. Empty faces I never saw, or so I thought. Then I heard the news that one of ours was among the victims; an Atenean; a batchmate. That was closer to home; but I still didn't know the person. And then I received an email regarding services to be held at our school for her. And in the email was her picture. That picture changed everything. She wasn't just a name anymore. There was now a face to go with it.

I've seen her around. Sometimes I've wondered what her name was, as I do with every person I see. But I always tell myself that there would be time enough to learn of names and to meet new people. Apparently, it wasn't so. Today, I learned of her name - too late.

There are stories that tell of life's tenacity; human survival against unsurmountable odds. Spirit that will not fade. And then there are tragedies; of life lost so suddenly. An infinite future of possibilities snipped away in an instant. Life is so mysterious in these two aspects, when they are held side by side. One gives testament to Life's strength, and the other to it's fragility.

And this person's death is indeed a tragedy.

I've learned in high school a very important line from a book we read, "each man's life touches so many others." And now in college, I learned from my history teacher something quite similar, "every human life is infinitely valuable with infinite possibilities." And now that a life had been lost, a life that had certainly crossed mine, I wonder of possibilities that could have been. But there is just too much to limit with my words. Now, there is a feeling of loss for the possibilities that could have been. Now, a lot of things will never happen: I shall never get the chance to meet her, or talk to her, or even work with her in Celadon. She could have been a friend, and a lot of other things, for her friends and the world. But all these cannot happen anymore.

The truth is, there is nothing I can say here that would do her justice, for I never met her. I'm saddened by the loss of a possible friend, but I never knew her enough. What more of the ones that actually loved her, and cared for her? I cannot imagine the sense of loss they would be feeling now. But at least I share a little in their sorrow. That much I can offer. That is all I can offer.

Rest in peace Sharleen May Tan.

Post Christmas: Birth of a Self

This Christmas, I had been sick, so I didn't really get to do much of anything. I woke up at around 11:00, had lunch, went back to sleep at around 1:00, woke up again at 6:00 ate dinner, and slept at 12:00. All in all, I was just awake for 8 hours. My Christmas was just 8 hours long. If that isn't a loss..., well nevermind.

I'm getting somewhat better now. No more fever at least. Hope to be nice and healthy before the new year arrives. I wouldn't want to start the year feeling miserable - I'm miserable enough as it is throughout the year. And I don't want to start feeling miserable that early.

From this point on, I'm gonna create an alter-ego. It seems that my mood swings wildly sometimes and I've been having trouble reigning it in, so I might as well do what I can to help myself. In order to balance the pessimistic views I usually have about life, I'm going to create a personality that is much more optimistic than I usually am. I'll call him Gerard. And from now on, every post will have a signature from either one of us. Might make some more "people" later, but for now, two of us should be enough.

-Michael

Cheer up! Life is what you make of it. I'll try my best to balance out everything. You can't always worry about the bad stuff; if you do, then you won't notice when the good ones do arrive.
-Gerard

Christmas day, December 25, 2004

Well, its finally Christmas. Unfortunately, I'm sick.

Christmas. What's special about it? Its just one day... This year, I seem to have lost all my Christmas spirit. I don't even know the reason why. Apparently, there isn't much going on for me this season. Maybe I'm just depressed over something I have no idea of. Anyway, that's my opinion. No use dampening the spirits of everyone else.

In light of "Christmas," I'd like to greet everyone a very merry christmas. I hope you all enjoy it more than I'm enjoying it. I wish you all good health and a relaxing break from everyday stresses.

And finally, I'd like to wish three people apart from others a merry christmas. This greeting that I address to them is special because they're never gonna get it personally. Well, Merry Christmas R..., N... & L.... I hope you all have a great Christmas.