Songs of memory

For some strange reason, I keep remembering this song:

Halaga
Parokya ni Edgar

Umiiyak ka na naman, langya talaga wala ka bang ibang alam; namumugtong mga mata, kailan pa ba kaya ikaw mag sasawa.. sa pag tiyaga mo dyan sa bf mong tanga na wala nang ginawa kundi ang paluhain ka..

Sa libu-libung pagkakataon na tayo'y magkasama, iilang ulit pa lang kitang nakitang masaya naiinis akong isipin na ginaganyan ka niya. Siguro ay hindi niya lang alam ang
iyong tunay na halaga......

Minsan hindi ko maintindihan, parang ang buhay natin ay napagtitripan. Medyo malabo yata ang mundo.. binabasura ng iba ang siyang pinapangarap ko..

There's something about the sentiment of the song that resonates with my soul. I'm not saying that there's a real-life counterpart to it that I know. It's just that.. anyway, music and songs have a unique way of transporting us to places we've been to, feelings we've felt, experiences we've encountered, even if all those happened lifetimes ago. There's something in music, maybe the wavelength or wave patterns, that match harmoniously with those of certain memories. The result - we are instantly transported to that time, that place, that event. And it doesn't help that some songs are so frustratingly easy to get LSS at..

For me, I've got quite a collection of songs that hold particular meaning. Not in the sense that I can tell what they are when asked, but more of the type that triggers memories. Unfortunately, a large amount are not very fond memories.. but I do like to listen to those songs now and then, even if it's just to re-live the brief happiness before the day turned into night and the darkness swallowed my hopes. And in that one moment when I remember being happy before happiness was torn out from under me, I feel alive again. That I'm still here now stands as testiment to how I had survived those ordeals. They won't be forgotten, not as long as music plays in my heart and mind.

We are only people, you and I. But we are also human.

A thousand grains of sand.. or a rock

I feel like things are slipping by me. It's frightening when that sort of thing happens. It's like I don't have enough time to do everything that I need to do. Why is that? Do I try to do too much? I try to keep control whenever I can, but some things are out of my hands. Like now. I can't even tell what's wrong - I just feel that something is. You see, when things go wrong, there's no earth-shattering explosion, no heavenly sign, nor fireballs raining to the ground.. none of those that mark impending doom. Everything is as it were, except that something is amiss. What goes wrong are the small things. And they have a tendency to add up. They creep up on you and accumulate. And then in a mass of trouble, they collapse. And you start feeling that chaotic feeling, that everything is spiraling out of normality. That chaos theory really does exist, and you're gonna find out first-hand what it can do.

In the end, it's not the big things that I'm truly afraid of. Sure, they can prove to be troubling too. But the small things are the ones you don't expect. A feeling of mistrust here, a tiny gossip there, a minor let-down, a promise broken, a lack of time, a forgotten hello - these are small things that are often overlooked, or that lacking in significance. What's one little thing I didn't do? I'll do it some other time. And then it piles up..

It's the big things that we consciously remember; but it's the small things that we unconsciously take into ourselves.

Matters of Logic

There's a reason why the brain is placed higher than the heart. It's because if the heart reigned over a person, there would be no end to troubles. But sometimes the pounding can make deaf the ears to the reasoning of the brain. And even though the thinking brain is set higher than the primitive one, there are times when the latter exerts its dominance by seniority over the former. And what do you do then? Things aren't simple.

Things are never simple.
This is just a phase.. hay nako!