Monday, July 23, 2007

Hedgehog's Dilemma

The Hedgehog's Dilemma goes something like this:
In the cold of winter, hedgehogs huddle together to keep warm, but as they get closer to each other, then more they feel each other's quills.

We are just like those hedgehogs. The closer we get to one another, the greater the possibility of us hurting one another. I guess that's the risk of getting too close to a person. Let's face it, all of us have encountered such situations. How often have we been too afraid of getting hurt that we put up barriers around us to shield us from other people? Like the hedgehog, we worry about finding the right distance - too far and we feel no warmth, too close and we begin to hurt one another. And so we sacrifice some warmth in order not to get hurt, and we tolerate some pain in order to feel the warmth of others.

But there are those whose own body heat, so to speak, is high enough that they can live without another's warmth. There is no risk of getting hurt. But it too brings it's own sadness. That of loneliness. To forsake the warmth of others is to avoid the risk of pain, but to the cost of being alone. There are those people who have been too hurt, too much, that they decide it is better to be alone than to get hurt again. It seems strangely familiar. We all have these moments. Moments when we feel the world crashing down on us because we opened our core to someone, and they had shoved a sharp stick into it.

Sometimes, it's hard to find that balance. Sometimes, the pain, or fear of pain, is just too much. Sometimes, it's easier not to get too close. Even if it means being alone.

Sometimes.