Sunday afternoon

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I've been in a better mood than I am now. Right now nothing seems to make sense anymore. It's just like what a friend of mine said, the world has become tainted. All the colors are now dull; a veil of the septia hue has covered everything - tainted everything with a light that is reminiscent of a distant past. Like a forgotten memory; a faded picture locked away in a dusty attic, forgotten, lost, a shadow of the past. When does something start drifting from the "now" to the "then"? When does color fade from a picture?

We all have things we cherish in life. Some love power; some wealth; some family; some God. But there's one thing common to us all - how what we love affects us in our daily lives. The things we cherish becomes our center. Everything else revolves around it. It takes precedence in our decisions, in our actions, in how we think and do things. And when we lose that center, we're suddenly thrown off our balance. We lose our direction.. and we seek to fill that hollowness in. But it's not easy. How do you replace something that had been once the center of your very existence?

Nalalabuan na ako minsan. I recently came across a term - overcare. Meron palang ganon. And the difference between caring and caring too much is so fine that madaling mag step over the boundary. And I guess when that happens, it's bad. I've been taught na dapat everything in moderation. Although a plant needs sunlight and water, too much sun will dry up a plant and too much water will drown it. And I guess nakakasakal din when you care too much about someone.. Maybe that's why most people are afraid to care, ayaw nilang masakal yung person they care about, and so they try to put walls up.. to isolate themselves. But no matter how much they do, care has a habit of sneaking up on you, and before you know it, someone already has a hold of your life and you find yourself caring again..

Ang labo na nito. I've lost my train of thought.