Just a Dream

Last night I had this really vivid dream. I dreamt that I had just bought a new car, complete with fancy gadgets and a classy interior. It was a sportscar, I think. But the best part was that I could drive it.. I actually knew how to drive!! The dream was so normal, besides the car being soo expensive, that I really thought it was real. And when I woke up this morning, it took me a minute to realize that it was a dream, I had no car, and I didn't know how to drive. Talk about rude awakenings and in-your-face realizations.. I did believe the dream to be true, and that waking up was just another day of it. It sucks...

Under the weather

I'm feeling a bit under the weather again, and with it everything else. Lately I've had nothing to do. That's very bad. It makes me extra aware how sucky everything can be. Most of the things I've once enjoyed doing barely makes me smile.. just feels like I've lost something.. a lot of things, lately. Maybe they're just small things I notice here and there, but when they add up, it feels pretty big, like the world's collapsing and I'm getting smothered by all the weight of it. Funny though, what I'm saying all sounds familiar. I've said it before, I think.

Life just seems too short doing nothing. I spend my days sitting in front of the TV playing the same game, watching the same movie.. it's so monotonous. There's no method to the madness anymore. Life bites. I feel really burned out for doing nothing. Like what I wrote before, lamps without oil, burning myself out.

And everyone else? Nobody here.. It sucks to feel alone when you are alone..

I don't like some of the things that are happening, but what can I do?