Pagsubok

If there's one thing I really learned this sem, it's that trials and suffering are both intricate parts of life. Ang buhay ay hindi nawawalan ng pagsubok. Ngunit ang pagsubok ay hindi kapareho ng problema, sapagkat ang mga problema ay mayroong solusyon; and pagsubok wala. Ang tanging tugon sa bagsubok ay ang kilos ng kalooban tungo sa pag-asa. Ang pag-asang ito ay ang kilos ng kalooban na hindi makulong sa kadiliman ng pagsubok. Ang pag-asa ang nagsisilbing ilaw upan matanaw natin at maging bukas sa lahat ng uri ng pagsubok at kadiliman. Ang pagsubok ay kailanman di matatakasan...

Marami akong pinagdaanang pagsubok ngayong makalipas na ilang buwan. At tama nga, wala ngang lunas kundi ang maging bukas sa hinaharap at ang mga iba pang pagsubok na dala nito. Tanggap na lang ng tanggap. At sa bawat pagsubok, kung tama ang pagtanggap, tayo ay nadadala sa kaganapan ng ating katauhan. Kung mali...

Nandyan naman and temptasyon na hanapan ng lunas as mga pagsubok. Ngunit walang ganito. Ang pagiging optimismo ay ang pagiging sarado sa kalahatan ng buhay. Nakikita laman ang gustong makamit na kaganapan - isang makasariling pagkilos ng kalooban.

Another song for my soul...

Over My Head(Cable Car) - The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

What a sad song... this is apt.

Leading away

How does one move on? Is there an easy way to do so? Moving on and getting over stuff is one of the most important lessons in life. And life teaches these through experience. There's no lecture to be had, no practice, no mock-trial. When life wants you to learn something, it goes straight to the test and you better learn along the way. But these lessons are also the most painful and most difficult to learn, especially if you had to move on from a reality that is so familiar. Moving on is like throwning away everything and starting from scratch, and we learn this amidst the flash of tears. Moving on is saying goodbye, and I have never been too fond of goodbyes. A farewell to a reality that once had been real, but now only lingers in the deepest depths of the soul, in a dungeon of crushed dreams and hopes that have been given up on.

How does one get over it? That my friends is something I have not learned yet - not at this level. For how can one get over a part of one's life? Haaay, tama na.