Left Out

Yesterday, I went to the debut of a blockmate of mine at the Traders Hotel. During the event, there was a flash presentation wherein some photos of the block were shown. That was when I realized something.

I wasn't in any one of them.

I find it quite unfortunate for me that I wasn't there when bonds of friendship were formed in my block. Where was I? Probably somewhere else... It seems that I'm an outsider in my own block. The people whom I would be spending four years of my life with in Ateneo are the same people that I didn't get to know.

It's easy to say that "It just happened," but from what I've learned in History class, nothing "just happens." I'm not close to my block because I rarely spent any time with them. And now, even though I try, it's proving to be much more difficult going back into the fold. I guess its my fault mostly. I should've done something; spent more effort getting to know them. Then at least I wouldn't have been a stranger to them.

It seems that that is always my problem - being too passive. I don't go out and do things, I just wait for them to happen. The problem is, most of the things I wait for will never happen by themselves. So all I do is wait for something that will never be. That's pretty much my life story, always waiting and in the end, having nothing. I realize that its not just about my block. Its about everything else. I never tried to do anything, so I got nothing.

But I'm passive - what can I do? I'll just have to wait and see...