A bit unsure

Something's bothering me, but I'm not quite certain if it should or shouldn't. I can't trust my reasoning right now because it's not working properly. Here's where my pessimistic view of the world around me has got to stop clouding everything; every action, every word, everything said and left unsaid..
It's quite difficult when the mind's a mess over something like this. Basic decisions become hurdles and simple questions grow to some life-changing size - even if deep down you know it's silly.

***

I recently encountered that word again, a word that I should have forgotten a long time ago. In a perfect world, no such thing should exist, but this one is far from perfect, and that has troubled me as of late. Especially now..

Fears

Some emotions draw out some rather interesting responses or actions. One of those is fear. I don't understand what is it in fear that can bring the most steadfast person trembling to his knees, or chip away resolve down to uncertainty. Fear triggers hesitation, fear triggers inaction, fear triggers the flight response. For me it's one of the most powerful emotions there is - even strong enough to render the others ineffective. It can however multiply those same emotions too.

What do you fear?
Why are you afraid?

Is fear of loss really that great? It's this fear that drives us to falter; the greater the risk, the more we hesitate. Do I move forward? Or take what I have and walk away? I don't want to face that decision again. Not with so much on the line. They say that risk equals, even outweighs, the rewards. But risk triggers fear, and fear incapacitates. It renders useless the faculties of a sound logic.

Am I afraid?

I guess. About many things. Things I do not have control of. Things that I can only wait for to happen. Fear mixed with dread. A sense of inevitability. They say you only need to get burned once to have the fear of fire driven upon you. But how can you explain the people who try to stare down fear? Are they really unafraid? Or do they have something that far outweighs their fears? - a greater fear of not doing anything about it, or not being able to do anything.

A coward dies many times before his death; the courageous only tastes of death but once.

Changes

I don't think it's good for anything to be static for a very long time, although how long is a long time really depends on many things. I think change is a necessary thing, to avoid stagnation that eventually sets in. Life is a very important recipient of change - it's what changes the most. It's dynamic and sometimes, people do get lost, unable to catch up with the changes. I think I do need to change some things in my life. It's far from perfect and I doubt any change I do will make it suddenly a whole lot better. Small steps, that's how things are done. Rush something and some things are bound to get destroyed, sort of like the wind that follows the wake of a speeding car - or plane. A sonic boom of sorts. It's the little changes that don't get noticed as much, and only by those few who pay attention. Will anyone notice how much I'm changing? Has anyone seen how much I've changed? I have. And sometimes I myself can't even tell, until I'm suddenly surprised by my own actions.