Infinity

What is infinity? While I was lost in the muddled-up mess that is my thoughts, an idea came to me. Infinity. Infinity as an idea. That all-elusive number that will always be one more than we can possibly count. It's that distance an inch more than we can travel. It's that time, a moment more than our lives. Infinity is an ideal. It is something we can never reach. Forever. But why do we have such an impassable number or distance? From my experiences, we have "infinity" because there are just some things that no matter how hard we try, how much we give, how long we wait... will always be just out of reach. As long as we can come up with something to get as closer to it, the more it resists and all the more further it moves away. It taunts us to try harder. It moves us to be stronger. It motivates us to aim higher. But as long as we have a goal, infinity will be just a bit more beyond it.

Some things in life are just infinitely out of reach. And the only thing that can go through infinity is our dreams - dreams that fade the moment we open our eyes.

Seeing infinity has opened my eyes to just how limited I am.

Perhaps it is time

A time to say goodbye.

It's kind of hard, but these things are usually inevitable. Nothing is permanent anyway, and most things change in time, whether we want them to or not. And not all of the changes are good. Maybe this is the proper time. I've done all I can, and perhaps a bit more than required. But I couldn't just stop mid-flight and say, "I quit." We all draw a line at what's important to us, we never cross that line. We try our best so we won't regret. But why do I still feel regret at all of this? Have I not tried my best? God knows I held on far longer than people tell me I should. Maybe it's a sign of my weakness that I cannot hold on to my ideals, to what I value. But all things end.

Don't worry, things aren't so bad. Tomorrow will be much worse.

Just So You Know

by Jesse McCartney

I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

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