Just a thought

Why do we fall in love? And despite getting hurt, why do we do so still? I don't understand how people keep giving out their hearts knowing full well that its gonna get torn to shreds, and yet still HOPE that its not gonna happen. Why is that? Why go through something that 99 out of 100 times will end in failure and misery? Is it because of that one-in-a-hundred chance? I don't see the point of it. But the unfortunate thing about it, we don't really have a choice, do we? Yes, loving is a choice. But falling in love isn't a choice. Sure its not even considered genuine love, but you can't take out of the equation the fact that it still feels pretty damn painful when it blows up in your face. When reality sets in that you're the only one who feels that way; when the chemicals that trigger the feeling finally dissipate. I've gone through enough of those to know how painful they can get. It's like your whole heart is being drawn through a vise, or getting pierced by a thousand needles, or ripped savagely apart. That's the trouble with pain brought out by the mind. Since it's not physical, you don't die from it, but you do feel like dying. And you can "die" many times over.

So far, I've had only a handful of serious crushes. That's what I call them because calling them anything else doesn't feel right. They may be more than simply that though, but I have no basis to say. But that handful became so because I had done something. What about the countless times I didn't act? What about the instances when I just kept it all to myself, and never told a soul; locked in my mind where no one can get through. The serious ones I had spoken to friends about. But these countless ones only I knew, so what about them? Well, they'll be an endless source of torture, when I think about the possibilities and realize the fact that dreams are just dreams and only be dreams.

I never liked Valentine's season.