My turn..

Leave a comment here and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Balance by a Thread

I must admit, life does get complicated with or without any effort. A lot of things seem to "just happen" every now and then. Although I do know that nothing ever "just happens", but they definitely seem to. And then what do you do when they do? Me? I'd like to control the situation as much as possible. I don't feel comfortable when things snowball downhill. But not all situations require manipulation.. some can just be left to happen. But there are a few important ones. That's that for now.

I just saw Narnia yesterday. Frankly, I had expected it to be better. It just seemed.. rushed. I don't know. But it had been a good day. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough of an escape. It would be wonderful to have a closet like that of my own. So I can just escape to my own little world whenever I feel like it and get lost in my dreams. If I ever have time to think about everything I'm trying to avoid thinking of, I'm going to go insane. Too many things to worry about, too many questions of why, to many mysteries to solve, too many things to sort out, too many of everything. Hmm, I'm being vague again. I can't help it. The moment I speak clearly of my situation, that will be the time when I have nothing left to worry about.. or I don't care enough to worry anymore.

2006

What can I say? Another year has passed. And as each year passes by, I sometimes wonder whether the things that happened were meant to happen. Surely not everything.. but then again, there's no way of telling.

As I watched the fireworks go off in my own corner of the sky, I couldn't help but feel.. heavy inside. Not from burdens or problems, but from sheer emotions. It seems like everything from the past year came flooding back to me as each rocket died in a spectacular display of light. Each flash, each sparkle, each note in the staccatto of sound brought back a deluge from the past. And as moments ticked away, emotions piled up. And then, as the clock struck 12, the heaviness vanished. Although the feelings and memories were still there, they already seemed part of the unchangeable past. And there's nothing that can be done.

In the early hours of 2006, a few more thoughts come to mind. I've learned of some things that are quite difficult to take right now.. But I guess I'll cope, as I always have.