I thought I had everything figured out. I should've known that it wasn't possible. No matter how sure I am that there's no more mystery left for me, out comes a thought or an idea or an event that leaves me clueless. People say that life is a constant process of learning. I guess they're right. I am learning, but sometimes the learning curve is so steep that one has to build up so many failures just to be able to use them to climb up and grasp the wisdom. Sometimes it's still just too high though...
Everytime I think I know something to be the truth, something comes along to smash it right before my eyes. And then I'm back to square one again, picking up the broken pieces and rebuilding my world from scratch. When will I learn about reality, about chance, about fate, about life? I can't even understand half of what goes on in my mind. If only I could figure it out.. then a lot of things should make sense. But then there's that old saying that the more you know, the more you know that there's much, much more that you do not know...
Hmm, maybe that's just who I am. I've always been indecisive. Maybe it stems from mental confusion, or a mechanism to prevent confusion. After all, if you don't have to decide anything, then there's no need to think about it. Haha. Yeah right.. mas marami pa ngang pag-iisip ang nangyayari pag wala kang magagawa eh.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Simple Things
I just got home from the COA formsem that lasted 4 days. I've had sleep for only a total of around 10 hours out of the 108 hours since I woke up last Saturday until right now. So, please forgive the mistakes I'm sure to make.
At first I was very much afraid to go to the formsem as a proxy for our president in ASEC. I knew that all who would be attending would be mostly presidents themselves, while I'm only a VP. I was very much intimidated. But soon after I arrived, I got to know a few of the people. And quite soon after, I felt at ease already. I wasn't as tense as before, I even laughed and joked around with people I barely knew. I remembered the simple joys of friendship which I thought I had forgotten. It does feel nice to make new friends. It's one of the simple things in life, yet I had forgotten about it. I was so caught up in the moment that one of my goals then was to meet and get to know everyone there. Ofcourse, I didn't reach my goal, but I got to know a whole new bunch of people. I got to know people from my cluster, Andrew from AIESEC and Lyra from the Assembly. I got to know people outside my cluster too like, Bernice(who reminded me somewhat of Da, because of the mannerisms and such), Jake(very disturbing behavior, haha), Jor-el(MEA), Charson(AMA), Bev(MISA), Yda(na may legendary "Killers" wink, haha), Nikki, Geo-Ann, Jaypee, Dino, Nats(sobrang passionate and mabilis magsalita, haha), Charles, Mark, Jason(LM), and a lot of other people whose names seem to have eluded me(I'm sorry guys!). I wish I could've known them more, but I should be thankful just as well for knowing them as I did. I'm so happy I made new friends.
My time there was surreal. Not only did I get to know new people, I was also surrounded by the top leaders in Ateneo. All of them(more or less) are presidents of their orgs, and I just can't help but feel a sense of awe whenever I realized that. I knew that each one of them was a dedicated individual, chosen among many, and formators of people in their own right. I was surrounded by so much drive for exellence, so much dedication, so much potential, that I can't help but feel lucky for being there.
So now that I know the presidents of a host of other orgs, their organizations now bring new meaning to me. Now they aren't just organizations anymore; now, they have faces to match - face and character of their figure-head. And so, I've decided to join a few more orgs this coming year. It might be a tall order, but I'm willing to work hard for it. After all, I can't let my new friends down, while making sure that I don't forget about my other responsibilities. Hahaha.
It's going to ba a fun year ahead, and quite possibly very stressful too. Hahaha. Bring it on!!!
At first I was very much afraid to go to the formsem as a proxy for our president in ASEC. I knew that all who would be attending would be mostly presidents themselves, while I'm only a VP. I was very much intimidated. But soon after I arrived, I got to know a few of the people. And quite soon after, I felt at ease already. I wasn't as tense as before, I even laughed and joked around with people I barely knew. I remembered the simple joys of friendship which I thought I had forgotten. It does feel nice to make new friends. It's one of the simple things in life, yet I had forgotten about it. I was so caught up in the moment that one of my goals then was to meet and get to know everyone there. Ofcourse, I didn't reach my goal, but I got to know a whole new bunch of people. I got to know people from my cluster, Andrew from AIESEC and Lyra from the Assembly. I got to know people outside my cluster too like, Bernice(who reminded me somewhat of Da, because of the mannerisms and such), Jake(very disturbing behavior, haha), Jor-el(MEA), Charson(AMA), Bev(MISA), Yda(na may legendary "Killers" wink, haha), Nikki, Geo-Ann, Jaypee, Dino, Nats(sobrang passionate and mabilis magsalita, haha), Charles, Mark, Jason(LM), and a lot of other people whose names seem to have eluded me(I'm sorry guys!). I wish I could've known them more, but I should be thankful just as well for knowing them as I did. I'm so happy I made new friends.
My time there was surreal. Not only did I get to know new people, I was also surrounded by the top leaders in Ateneo. All of them(more or less) are presidents of their orgs, and I just can't help but feel a sense of awe whenever I realized that. I knew that each one of them was a dedicated individual, chosen among many, and formators of people in their own right. I was surrounded by so much drive for exellence, so much dedication, so much potential, that I can't help but feel lucky for being there.
So now that I know the presidents of a host of other orgs, their organizations now bring new meaning to me. Now they aren't just organizations anymore; now, they have faces to match - face and character of their figure-head. And so, I've decided to join a few more orgs this coming year. It might be a tall order, but I'm willing to work hard for it. After all, I can't let my new friends down, while making sure that I don't forget about my other responsibilities. Hahaha.
It's going to ba a fun year ahead, and quite possibly very stressful too. Hahaha. Bring it on!!!
Friday, April 01, 2005
Fool
It's the first day of April, and today is supposed to be April Fool's Day. Why is that? A fool is defined in the dictionary as a person having little or no common sense and wisdom. Well, everyone's been at that point at least once in his/her life, so I guess that makes us all fools. So this is my day then, and everyone else's. I've already lost count of how many times common sense has eluded me, or how many times my wisdom didn't seem so wise, or how a decision was based solely on "gut feeling" and didn't quite follow any particular logic. And I've forgotten how many times all of those resulted in disaster. And many times it wasn't only me that took the fall. How foolish.
April Fool's Day reminds me of the foolishness I've done. And maybe all the practical jokes delivered or executed today will only serve as a reminder to everyone that indeed we are a foolish race. Simpler animals rely on instinct to survive. There's no lack in common sense. And the fact that we have the capacity to decide whether or not to follow our instincts makes us vulnerable to making bad judgment calls - it makes us vulnerable to foolishness. So today is our day. Today we celebrate the follies of our species. Today we are reminded that we are all fools.
But just incase some would disagree, there's nothing I can do. All of what I've written today might just be a result of my lack of wisdom and common sense in assuming that there might be something that binds us all to each other - a commonality if I may. So if that's the case, I may have been a greater fool than I realized. Cum grano salis. Take it with a grain of salt. A fool must be right now and then by chance - a fool like me.
Happy April Fool's Day.
April Fool's Day reminds me of the foolishness I've done. And maybe all the practical jokes delivered or executed today will only serve as a reminder to everyone that indeed we are a foolish race. Simpler animals rely on instinct to survive. There's no lack in common sense. And the fact that we have the capacity to decide whether or not to follow our instincts makes us vulnerable to making bad judgment calls - it makes us vulnerable to foolishness. So today is our day. Today we celebrate the follies of our species. Today we are reminded that we are all fools.
But just incase some would disagree, there's nothing I can do. All of what I've written today might just be a result of my lack of wisdom and common sense in assuming that there might be something that binds us all to each other - a commonality if I may. So if that's the case, I may have been a greater fool than I realized. Cum grano salis. Take it with a grain of salt. A fool must be right now and then by chance - a fool like me.
Happy April Fool's Day.
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