Saturday, April 09, 2005

From Scratch

I thought I had everything figured out. I should've known that it wasn't possible. No matter how sure I am that there's no more mystery left for me, out comes a thought or an idea or an event that leaves me clueless. People say that life is a constant process of learning. I guess they're right. I am learning, but sometimes the learning curve is so steep that one has to build up so many failures just to be able to use them to climb up and grasp the wisdom. Sometimes it's still just too high though...

Everytime I think I know something to be the truth, something comes along to smash it right before my eyes. And then I'm back to square one again, picking up the broken pieces and rebuilding my world from scratch. When will I learn about reality, about chance, about fate, about life? I can't even understand half of what goes on in my mind. If only I could figure it out.. then a lot of things should make sense. But then there's that old saying that the more you know, the more you know that there's much, much more that you do not know...

Hmm, maybe that's just who I am. I've always been indecisive. Maybe it stems from mental confusion, or a mechanism to prevent confusion. After all, if you don't have to decide anything, then there's no need to think about it. Haha. Yeah right.. mas marami pa ngang pag-iisip ang nangyayari pag wala kang magagawa eh.

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