A tiny thought

I'm not a very happy person. And I get reminded about that every so often. I guess it's because I'm pessimistic about a lot of things; very pessimistic. I do laugh and smile occasionally, but not too often. I'm just perpetually like that. I probably had enough of my bad experiences and decided that everything will eventually turn out bad so why bother hoping otherwise. I'm just ranting...

How is importance measured? It's different for each individual right? But there must be some common factor for determining what's important. A basis for our decisions, actions, and outcomes. Things don't just happen. Decisions don't appear out of nowhere. Outcomes don't preordain themselves - or do they?

I have to reevaluate what I consider important and secondary. There's just so many things that need attention. A lot of work, tasks, assignments, duties, promises, oaths... one could get lost doing all these things. There's also another important aspect - self. I've jumped at so many duties and work that I've pushed aside myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting burned out even after classes. A line has to be drawn somewhere, and yet I can't forget the promises I've already made, the duties I have to do, and the tasks that need to be finished.

I've been honest about my shortcomings. I don't deny that I'm lazy, or that I cram a lot. I've been known to get annoyed at the simplest of things, though not a lot of people have seen me in that state. (And pray you don't.) As I've stated, I'm pessimistic. I lack confidence in myself and my output. I'm not very good at communicating to people. And I'm quite horrible at remembering names. But this is me. I've accepted how some people are the way they are, although I still question why sometimes. I just hope people can see beyond all my faults and see me for who I am. I'm not going to elaborate on that, my lack of optimism may prove to be quite detrimental to what I may say.