Too much time in my hands

There is an essay written by Marcel that we took up in philosophy recently, and one memorable passage there goes something like this:

..a human life has always its centre outside itself; though it can be centered, certainly, on a very wide and diverse range of outside interests. It may be centered on a loved one, and with the disappearance of the loved one be reduced to a sad caricature of itself... And this is not a matter so much of some final purpose to which a life may be directed as of the mental fuel that keeps a life alight from day to day. For there are, as we know only too well, desperate creatures wo waste away, consuming themselves like lamps without oil.

Never has such words been used to define a certain feeling that I sometimes get - like a lamp without oil consuming itself. It really just hit me.

There is also a conversation in a game I'm playing that sort of made a lot of sense. It says that the reason we humans sometimes act selfish and greedy is because we are only here for a short time. The immortal races(in the game) all lack the sense of passion because for them time is of no consequence. And that explains how passionate we can sometimes be on some trivial things. We're "like babies, trying to grasp at everything before our time is up." Passion makes us do rash things, deciding on a whim without seeming to think about it. Trying to leave a part of us behind that would be remembered when we pass away. Such transcient beings we are..

Sigh. It seems that I have so much time in my hands again, more that what I can think of to do with. It seems that I'm burning without oil again. I have so much idle time that.. the things I usually think about every now and then before, I can't help but think of much more often now. I agree with what I heard before, the key to a happier life is lowered expectations. Why do people dream? Dreams are just that after all - dreams. Sometimes I'm tired of dreaming about the future, the future I want. It all seems so improbable now.

Gah! Enough of that already. Please, somebody save me from this boredom! I want to do something, go somewhere, meet someone, anything.. just save me from wasting away doing nothing, feeling useless, feeling forgotten.