Decisions

Making decisions is very difficult, at least for me. When faced with a decision, either a light or important one, I find myself hesitant in choosing a direction. I usually just let event play out by themselves with as little input from myself as possible. This is especially the case when the decision revolves around choosing among two or more things of equal or more or less equal value to me. So now I'm just wondering why I do that.

I guess letting things flow by themselves gives us the illusion that the outcome we get will not be our fault because we didn't make a stand. We can then proceed to blaming fate or destiny when things turn bad because we didn't decide anything. But inaction in itself is a decision already. When we let things work themselves out, that becomes our decision - to do nothing. There's no such thing as not deciding anything. No one is immune from consequences.

I used to be very passive before. And the illusion of not being at fault when we let events take place by themselves is surely comforting. But it still is just an illusion. Now, I'd like to think that I'm more decisive. Perhaps I am. But sometimes, the lure of illusions is just so great...