Apologies

I do think it's time for some apologies.. I'll just leave the names out, but I guess you'll know who you are when you read your part. I hope. If not, well, be glad that I haven't done anything to you worth apologizing for..?

I'm sorry for all the times I've vented my frustrations on your kind ears. I know very well the stresses of school and how very busy you are. Because of that, I sometimes think that my world is falling apart because people like you, whom I consider a very good friend of mine, are never around just when I have my "episodes." I'm sorry I even thought that. I know that you of all people didn't really desert me, you just have your own life to consider too. I understand that. It's just sometimes I really do feel so alone and when I look around, no one seems to notice..

I'm sorry for slacking off more often than normal. I know I have responsibilities too, but they seem.. mild, compared to the other things I usually think about. I guess I have to reorganize my priorities a bit..

I'm sorry if I haven't been so "open" at times. It's not that I'm keeping secrets from you or anything. It's just that I had wanted to sort them out before I tell anyone. I'll tell you when something comes up that I do understand. I may have also felt a little bit bad from before, when I confided in you and yet you seemed to act in a not very helpful way with regards to what I've told you. But it's ok now. Past is past. I just felt like I had to apologize for it..

I'm sorry for being the eternal pessimist..

I'm sorry if I thought some very bad things.. to the point that it's a bit of backstabbing already. It's not your fault. It shouldn't even affect me. I guess I'm just insecure..

I'm sorry that I thought you were one of those people who "use" others. I still have to learn to differentiate that from just plain personality. There will always be people I won't understand at first, but in time I will. I know you're nice and friendly in your own way, it's just that it's easy to confuse what you do with what I hated of some people. Sorry..

I'm sorry for all the times I haven't been able to explain myself. It's quite difficult doing so without revealing some secrets that aren't ready to be revealed yet. In time you'll find out. I'm also sorry if I seem to worry too much. It's really just who I am. I've also said some things which led to some misunderstanding.. I didn't mean to make it sound that way. And if ever I've been a little too annoying, I'm sorry for that too. I'm sorry when at times I panic too soon, or when I distract you from what you have to do, or when I make you worry, or when I'm just plain silly.. Right now I don't think I can apologize enough. If I say sorry to remove the guilt I'm feeling, there would be no end to the apologies..

I don't think I can apologize for all the things I've done. Maybe some other time. I just thought that apologies were in order because of a song I heard from Dishwalla. And this was the line that really struck me..

"I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold"

I guess that sums it all up.