Lost center

I think I've lost my center again. It's just like losing your balance, only longer. Sort of. When you lose your balance, you just wobble around a bit, maybe even fall. But it's easy to regain. Lose your center and well, that's a different story. When you lose your center, you experience so many things that descriptions would seem to contradict each other. You feel as if you're falling and yet not falling. When you lose your center, you lose your anchor to daily life. So you drift around, maybe wandering aimlessly. You feel like you're falling too, as I've said. But there's no ground to hit, just a lot of falling. And falling is scary because you really feel helpless. Losing your center also means there's a certain hollowness inside. There was something there that's not there anymore, a missing piece. An emptiness that's dying to be filled up. And it really doesn't matter what fills it up again, as long as it's substantial.

I don't know why I'm writing right now. I just feel like it. Honestly, I'm just trying to reach out to anyone. I'm wishing someone would come and fill up this hollowness; bring me back my center. But if I had a coin for every wish I made, I'd never run out of money ever. I'm not usually very open about these things, but I really feel so alone right now. I can't think straight. I can't function well. I'm really very much confused and broken up. I've been through this once before, but it's not the same thing. It's never the same thing. It helps to write; it's a form of release on my part. But then again it doesn't help much. Consider this a cry for help; an act of desperation on my part. It's at this time that I'm really at my weakest. The world goes on, whatever happens. I guess at the very least, I'm just looking for presence. A reminder that I'm not forgotten. A sign that I'm not alone. I just need reassurance that everything's gonna be fine, that I'll get by somehow. I feel cold and lost and empty.. won't somebody bring me back to humanity?

It sucks to be me.