Saturday, September 17, 2005

Away from Neverland

"Living would be an awfully big adventure.."
- Peter Pan


I sometimes come to think how silly my problems are and at the same time how serious they are too. This ambivalence has brought about numerous mood shifts in my part - a balance of which I have never found. I guess it's all a matter of how you look at it really. There are times when I'm so easily affected by the smallest of events, seemingly insignificant to most people, and yet having profound impact on my state of mind and even well-being. Some of you would likely know what I'm talking about. For others, well, you can guess. And then, when the times are good, I think myself silly for being so affected. But they didn't seem very silly then..

What I'm trying to say is that I'm really having a tough time coping with a lot of things. It's hard enough to be concerned with things I should be concerned about at this time, the normal things, and yet I can't seem to avoid being concerned with a few additional things. A few very big additional things. As the Little Prince would put it, "things of great consequence." And most of these are intangible, like feelings. Ok, so now most of you can probably risk a guess.

As Peter Pan put it, living is quite an arduous task. Each life is a story, a great adventure waiting to be told. A drama, a comedy, a tragedy; full of action, monotony, forshadowing, and the occassional plot twists; all rolled-up into a book no words can fully iterate. And the only one who gets to watch it all in it's entirety? Well that would be you.. and you're bound to miss out a few details too, so in the end, you still won't be able to see the entire picture.

I just wish sometimes that I knew all the answers to my questions.. or at least the questions haunting me right now. But where would be the adventure in that? Everyone loves a good tragedy, as long as it's not happening to them. I guess Fate has the same idea. I just wish so badly that my story takes a turn for the better, not one that's destined to be tragic..

I really need a little sweet movie-moment right now..

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