Monday, February 07, 2005

Cold Furnace

I don't know how many times I've fallen in love and ended up hating myself for it.. I don't know how many times I've tried to convince myself that the next one would be the one.. I don't know how many times I've built barriers around my heart only to have it broken down by someone.. I don't know how many times I've risked all my happiness on a single person.. I don't know how many times I've been hurt.. I've lost count already.
But despite everything, despite the pain, the tears, the sleepless nights worrying, despite all that, I don't think I can stop myself from loving. I don't think I can stop my heart from giving itself out. Because... because of the feeling; because of what it feels like to love, to be in-love. It's the greatest feeling in the world.
I'd be willing to hate myself again, to hope, to lay my heart bare, to risk all my happiness, risk being hurt.. just to feel how to love once more. They're inseperable, pain and love. But I'm willing to accept all the bad just to experience that one good thing called love.

Having read what I did, it seems that I'm not going through the tempering process as well as I should. Maybe all it needs is a little more heat..

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