It's February once again. And over the years, I've grown to despise this month. Because February is the only month wherein I get reminded of.. what I don't have; what I always wanted; what I never seem to find. I hate February for rubbing it in. But if February were to disappear from the calendar, I'm sure I'd miss it too. For it is only during February that I can raise the pain in my heart to a new level. The only time I can elevate the pain that I am used to. The only time I can feel beyond the numbness that resides in me.
And so, during February, I don't celebrate love. I celebrate depression, and pain, and hurt. I wallow in them.. just to prepare my heart for the year ahead. Tempering it in flames, so to speak. So hopefully, it won't be as prone to weathering and pain.
My heart is made of steel; hard, cold, and heavy. Better to withstand being trampled on and thrown around. So come, February, and do your worst!!!
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Di ko alam kung matatawa ako or madedepress sa entry mo na 'to. Mas lalo na yung sa last part --> So come, February, and do your worst!
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