Sunday, January 09, 2005

Origins

When I first made this blog, I didn't mean for it to be so... dreary. I wanted something I could proudly show-off to everyone. Something that would speak of who I am - an electronic reflection of myself. But I never got what I hoped for. Instead, my blog entries turned out to be a series of bleak thoughts and unsaid words,... far from what I intended.

Now that it's here, I'm not so sure if I can still hold my head up high knowing that others may see my flaws and faults that I myself have admitted in these entries. But when I think about it again, maybe it was supposed to be like this. I wanted to show who I am and this is the result. Perhaps this is who I am. I had wanted to show a "clean-cut" picture of myself, but the real "me" is not as simple, not as good, not as nice, not as ordinary as I wanted people to see. I can't really say I'm proud of it, but I do have to accept it.

I've learned of a great many types of people. In fact, there is no "true type." Everyone can't be written of as a "type" - it just doesn't work that way. But what I can say is, different people respond differently to others. I can't expect people to treat me as they would other people, or how I expected to be treated. But I keep forgetting that often enough. Equality in that sense is bound to perception. Definitions of it is determined by each individual. So really, I can't complain, because others might not see it as I do.

Ultimately, I'm not sure what I should be writing here. I want to write as much of my perception as I can, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to write something that would alter the perceptions of others against people or issues I may mention. After all, Freedom of Speech may allow you to say what you want, but you still have to be responsible for what you say, as many people all too often forget.

Not that it matters, since so few pass by.

-Michael
(Gerard seems to be missing...)

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